Random Crap

Pocket Change Definition:
1. When politicians take money from YOUR pocket, and put it in theirs.

The grass is never truly greener on the other side... unless you are a horse.

According to Jack Bauer, there are only 2 options to save the world;
mastering the art of whispering and yelling at the same time, at someone who knows where the bomb is, or getting shot in the kneecap. You can tell how much Jack Bauer likes you by how far above your kneecap he shoots you.

Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.

I hate snakes. I shoot first, and determine later if it's poisonous. Of course, with their head blown to smithereens, it pretty much becomes a moot point.

People get stuck in their comfort zone.
Life begins OUTSIDE of your comfort zone.
Dumb Masses...

Some days, I think about giving up country living and moving into an apartment, so when things break, I could just call a maintenance man. Then I stop and think about what it was like when I used to live in an apartment...
Pass me the pipe wrench, I have plumbing to repair.

Family reunions... I got nothing... other than avoid them at all cost.

We spend the first 24 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 24 years telling them to shut up and sit down... no wonder they are so screwed up.

A friend gave their son an etch-a-sketch for Christmas last year... he picked it up, looked at it, wanted to know where the on/off switch was. "No switch." "Where do you put in the batteries?" "No batteries." "WOW, this must be the latest thing in electronics."
Yeah kid... shut up and sit down.

I used to own a 1972, chocolate brown, Triumph TR6. It was the most amazing car I've ever owned. It could take a 90 degree turn at 50 mph and never bark the tires. One day I'd like to own another one.

I ride a 90ci V-twin motorcycle. It too can make a 90 degree turn at 50 mph... but with someone else driving it, who has good insurance, and deep pockets, and a million years experience...

My Gastroenterologist is one of the nicest guys, most sophisticated, and one of if not the kindest man I have ever met. Whenever I have an appointment, he always walks in the room, shakes my hand, and always treats me like I'm the most important thing in his life at that moment... a rare thing these days. I think I have a man crush on him.